The Tremendous T-Bone

Well-Done With Ketchup. Fight Me.

A T-bone steak prepared exactly the way a certain someone likes it — well-done, with ketchup. Many chefs are furious. Many people are delighted. The steak doesn't care.

Thursday, January 8, 2026

Prep

10m

Cook

20m

Total

30m

Difficulty

Easy

Yield

2 servings

Scandal

5/5

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Ingredients

The Steak

2 T-bone steaks, 1.5 inches thick (the biggest in the case)
2 tbsp olive oil
Salt and pepper (liberally applied, like campaign promises)
2 tbsp butter
4 cloves garlic, smashed
Fresh rosemary sprigs

The Controversial Condiment

Ketchup (Heinz, obviously — the only brand that matters)

Instructions

Remove steaks from fridge 30 minutes before cooking. Pat dry. Season generously with salt and pepper. Tremendous seasoning for a tremendous steak.

Heat a cast-iron skillet screaming hot with olive oil. Sear steaks 4 minutes per side. Add butter, garlic, and rosemary. Baste for 2 minutes.

For well-done (as intended), continue cooking to internal temp of 160°F. Yes, well-done. This is non-negotiable.

Tip: If serving to guests who prefer medium-rare, simply tell them it's 'alternative well-done.'

Rest for 5 minutes. Plate with a generous side of ketchup. Accept the judgment of chefs worldwide. You are above their criticism.

Nutrition Estimate

Calories

720

Fat

48g

Carbs

Protein

68g

Fiber

Sodium

890mg

Nutrition estimates are approximate and may vary based on serving size, ingredient brands, and the current political climate. Not reviewed by the FDA or any regulatory body that still has funding.