DessertsEgg yolks separated from their whites with no reunification plan. This creme brulee is made with only the yolks — rich, golden, abandoned by the other half of the egg — baked in individual ramekins behind a hard, unyielding sugar shell. The custard is silky and perfect. The policy it references was neither.
MainsA methodical, slow-cooked beet soup that takes approximately two years, results in 34 indictments, and ultimately leaves everyone at the dinner table arguing about what the soup actually concluded. This is a rich, traditional borscht — ruby-red broth, tender beef, earthy beets, fresh dill, sour cream — cooked low and slow, because thoroughness matters even when nobody reads the full recipe.
MainsA towering meatloaf for a towering man — reportedly served to the 6-foot-8-inch FBI Director at an awkward White House dinner before he was fired via television while addressing agents in Los Angeles. This is a classic American meatloaf with a tangy ketchup glaze, built tall, served with a loyalty oath and no advance notice.
Migrant MealsA gorgeous, golden, honey-drenched pastry from the very countries that were banned from entering the dinner table. This is traditional baklava — crispy phyllo dough, chopped pistachios and walnuts, warm spices, and a fragrant honey-rosewater syrup. It crossed borders for centuries before someone tried to build a wall around the dessert menu.
MainsA batch of golden dinner rolls where some rolls are inexplicably larger than others — and the small ones technically have more power per ounce. These are classic, buttery, pull-apart yeast rolls baked in a pan where flyover rolls somehow determine the outcome of the whole bread basket. The popular vote of your taste buds is irrelevant.
AppetizersA classic Hawaiian-Chinese appetizer assortment that arrived, unwanted, into the political lexicon in October 2016 via a hot mic on a bus. This pu-pu platter features teriyaki beef skewers, coconut shrimp, chicken wings, crab rangoon, and spare ribs — all served on a platter with a flaming centerpiece. The food is consensual. The conversation that inspired it was not.
Start strong. First impressions are everything.
🍖The main event. Center of the plate. Center of attention.
🍰Sweet victories. Every. Single. Time.
🍹Beverages so good, you'll want to toast yourself.
🥬Plants. The best plants. From the best gardens.
✂️Maximum flavor. Minimum spending. Art of the deal.
🥂Power meals for power players. Served before noon.
🌍World flavors that crossed every border — no visa required, just a fork and an open mind.
