2025

11 recipes published

2026 →

January

Jan 15, 202535 min

The Tremendous Burger

A burger so big, so beautiful, that other burgers are calling to congratulate it. Two all-American beef patties with gold-leaf cheddar and ketchup — the only acceptable condiment.

Executive Order Eggs Benedict

By executive decree, this eggs Benedict is now the official brunch of the nation. Hollandaise so rich it needs its own offshore account.

4/5

February

Border Wall Bean Dip

A seven-layer dip so impenetrable, no chip can get through without proper documentation. Each layer represents a level of bureaucracy.

5/5

VegetarianGluten-Free

🌍

Migrant Meals

Feb 10, 202540 min

Fake News Fish Tacos

Fish tacos that claim to be healthy but are deep-fried in alternative fats. The slaw says it's fresh, but who can you really trust?

4/5

Dairy-Free

March

Austerity Ramen

A budget-friendly ramen that costs less than a congressional lunch but tastes like a million in lobbying dollars. Instant noodles elevated to policy-grade cuisine.

2/5

Budget-Friendly

April

Covfefe Cake

A rich chocolate-espresso cake that nobody can quite explain but everyone is talking about. Layers of mystery, frosted with plausible deniability.

Kale of the Chief

A hearty kale salad that proves vegetables can be just as divisive as any policy proposal. Massaged kale with tahini dressing and roasted chickpeas.

2/5

VegetarianVegan

May

The Art of the Dill Pickles

The namesake recipe. Classic dill pickles brined in vinegar, garlic, and unapologetic satire. Every jar is a masterpiece of negotiation between salt and sour.

3/5

VegetarianVegan

June

Cryptocurrency Crumble

An apple crumble whose value fluctuates wildly depending on market conditions. Sometimes it's golden perfection, sometimes it crashes. DYOR (Do Your Own Recipe).

3/5

Vegetarian

July

Filibuster Fries

Loaded fries that go on and on and on, just like a Senate filibuster. By the time you finish, you'll have forgotten what you were originally eating for.

3/5

VegetarianGluten-Free

August

Impeachment Peach Sangria

A refreshing peach sangria that somehow manages to be both beloved and divisive. Every sip is a proceeding. Every glass a verdict.

4/5

VegetarianVegan